Mother’s Day is just about here! Sweet spring is in the May air, flowers are in bloom, and it’s the perfect time of year to celebrate mom.
Motherhood is a trip from what I hear. I think I get the gist of what it entails to be a mother, seeing as how I have an awesome one, but a lot of what I know about motherhood comes from watching other women around me. They bring tiny humans into the world and then raise them into the grown people we interact with every day.
I’m not entirely certain about any of it because I’ve never raised a tiny human. The one thing I am certain about is that motherhood looks different for every woman and every family. And call a spade a spade, I hear it can be an entertaining conquest to balance all of life’s existing blessings when you throw kids into the mix.
Because Mother’s Day is coming up, I went on a quest to learn more about how our moms at Timmons Group balance all their blessings with work, kids, extracurriculars, self-care, vacation, professional development, grocery shopping… The list could go on! It’s no secret that these mothers are well-versed in calculating the ebbs and flows of life with children.
So, I sat down with Shannon Hayes to discuss her daily balancing act. Shannon is a mom of three, wife to her husband Myk, an active member in her church, contributor to her kid’s schools and sports, director of Human Resources, Women in Design committee lead, and a principal at the firm. (She also may or may not be a real-life superhero.)
Shannon’s three children are Lexi, Jadon, and Jaxon. Lexi, the oldest, is twenty-four and has Down Syndrome, which Shannon says has presented her parenthood experience with a variety of blessings and fun challenges. Lexi’s younger brothers are Jadon and Jaxon, who are sixteen and fourteen, respectively. Jaxon, being fourteen, is into playing sports and adventuring with friends. And when Shannon told me Jadon was sixteen, my first question was, “Is he driving?” to which she jokingly responded while nodding, “Oh, pray for me.”
Like most new mothers, when Shannon had her first child, she experienced a moment of realization. “They put so much trust in you when you leave the hospital, I remember it distinctly. I had never done this before and they just send a baby home with you! Like, are there any training classes?” Shannon chuckled.
Shannon and her family take time together seriously because she realizes how quickly her children have gone from newborns to toddlers and, then suddenly, young adults.
“They went from babies to kids, and when they got a little older, we’d take them to Disney and to the beach, and you just get to see them grow up. Then, it hits you, ‘There are only so many summers until they go off to college,’ and you have to keep that in mind. So, we made a bucket list of everyone’s vacation ideas, and we are just slowly crossing them off.” Shannon and her family have traveled to New York City, the Grand Canyon, and Zion National Park.
Along with allotted time for family trips, the Hayes’s are very active in other extracurriculars like sports and church. Add work to that, and Shannon seemingly has 23 hours of the day booked before noon. So, how does she do it?
It seems that so many of us regularly view work-life balance as black and white, but what if we thought about it more in different tones of gray? Shannon surely thinks about balance this way.
Shannon is a true advocate for the culture of a balanced work-life environment. From an outsider’s perspective, I can tell you she makes it look effortless, but I also know that she spends a lot of emotional time working to keep all her plates spinning.
I asked Shannon, “What are some of the challenges that you encounter in balancing all of those extracurriculars with work and home life?” I asked the question in a calm tone, but the crazed voice in my head was dying to know how someone of her professionalism keeps it together all the time.
“I’m actually reading a book right now called Take Back Your Time by Christy Wright. In the book she says something like, ‘Life balance is not about doing everything equally, it’s more about spending the right amount of time on the right things in the right moment.’ It’s about blending,” Shannon said.
Of course, that ‘right amount, right moment’ mentality is also supported by a company that boasts work-life balance as one of its core values. “I’m very thankful that in the last sixteen years Timmons Group has helped me balance my life. I don’t think a lot of people can say this, but I’ve never once felt guilty about saying to my team, ‘Hey, someone’s sick,’ or ‘I need to go to a game.’ So, I don’t take my flexibility for granted here because I know people don’t get that everywhere, it is definitely a give and take. I know there is nowhere other than Timmons Group where I could balance a demanding career with an active family,” Shannon explained.
Shannon says that raising three kids, all with different interests and needs, has been a unique experience. But the Hayes’s have a saying in their household: Hayes’s don’t quit. “When it comes to planning, self-care, you name it, we just don’t quit. I think it’s why our daughter is so high functioning, and the boys are busy with friends and a lawn care business. We get them excited about following through,” she said.
“I have so many great mom stories,” Shannon laughed. “But I think the key is remembering that even through the really weird and crazy times, we’re all doing a great job. We have got to start cutting ourselves some slack. We’re not messing these kids up, and even as adults we’re still learning. Not everything is going to be perfect, we just have to give ourselves some grace and remember we are doing the best we can.”
Even though she is often perceived as that real-life superhero mom, coworker, and community member, Shannon has encountered trials and tribulations with work-life balance like anyone.
“Fourteen years ago, just after the birth of Jaxon, I returned to a demanding career after maternity leave. Having a special needs child in school, a two-year-old, and a newborn with three different morning drop off and afternoon pickup locations, every other task in between… It was more than I could handle,” Shannon recalled. “I wasn’t juggling anything well. I remember thinking how easy it would be to just throw in the towel and stay at home. I went to Brian Bortell, our CEO, and he was overwhelmingly understanding and accommodating.”
Shannon worked with Brian to create a schedule that accommodated her growing family needs. “We collaborated on a solution. For my first year post maternity, I reduced my workload to four days a week and a 32-hour schedule. I can firmly say today that I would not be where I am had I not gotten that flexibility. While it was still a tough part of my work-life balance, that breather room was just what I needed to not throw in the towel. I am so thankful for that extra time and thankful I didn’t quit! #HayesDon’tQuit.”
Not only is Shannon balancing her home life and traditional workload. She is also a principal at the firm and serves on the Board of Directors (the first woman principal and Board member, actually) and leader of our Women in Design committee, a group that meets quarterly to celebrate women throughout Timmons Group with different character strengthening workshops. These roles have given her the opportunity to bring other women up at the firm, including other mothers.
“Among women, we can often be overly competitive and comparative with ourselves, which makes us critical of one another. I feel like we tend to push each other down rather than pulling other women up with us. So, I’m always thinking about how we can collectively work on that at the firm,” Shannon said.
“I think that all of us, no matter what stage we are in, we need three people in our lives. We need the person just ahead of us who we can go to for advice, the person who is in the same life stage as us who we can talk through things with, and the person just behind our life stage who we can encourage and let them know they are going to make it. I think when we keep those three people in our lives, we’re stronger and we’re encouraging each other rather than trying to compete as women and mothers.”
For Shannon, these work-based opportunities to bring other women up with her at the firm coincide with her motherly instincts. “I’m not the only woman and mother in the room anymore, and there are more and more every year,” she said. “I wish I could wave a magic wand and have more diversity in the firm, but it just doesn’t work like that. We are putting our DEI initiatives first to attract and retain talented women and mothers, and a large part of that is being flexible when the scale tips more in the direction of family.”
Shannon has raised the standard for what working mothers demand in corporate settings, and it’s enlightening that she is at the forefront of advocating for family-centric benefits at Timmons Group like our parental leave packages, 529 college savings plans, and flexible hours for mothers when they return to work. She has supported our firm in collaborating with working mothers, and it seems to me that those mothers at our firm are also proud to work with a company that puts their family needs first.
As the director of HR and a principal, I really think of Shannon as a ‘mother’ of the firm. She has advocated for so many of us in professional development experiences, provided constructive comments for our work, and supported our career goals at Timmons Group. For a lot of us, Shannon is any one of the three kinds of people she says we ought to have in our lives. For me, she’s the role model just ahead that I know I can turn to for advice.
Whether they’re a biological parent, relative, single mother, adoptive parent, friend, or resting peacefully on the other side of our earthly state, we’re wishing a happy Mother’s Day to moms in all the forms they may take.
And to my own mom, who was the most strong, resourceful, and imaginative mother I could have been blessed to have, happy Mother’s Day.
